I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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