I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
