i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
