Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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