He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
