There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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