so explain again why im purple
no
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
