Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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