Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
