She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
