yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
