absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
