She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
