I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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