I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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