wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
