Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize