did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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