She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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