im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
