the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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