Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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