never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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