you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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