Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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