dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Randomize
