a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
