So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You left your underwear on the fireplace
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
