I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
