I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You are a genius and a whore.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
