on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize