You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
