It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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