You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
