Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
