quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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