I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
