hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
