Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize