You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He better not be in your backpack
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
