you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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