Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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