I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
