I feel like abortions should bother me more
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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