Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
