I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I want to be your penis for a week.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
