she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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