Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
