my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
