Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
