Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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