But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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