she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
