I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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