dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
