i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My feet surprised me
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
