She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
