so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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