naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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