so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
