I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
